NeRvOuS!?!?!

Here it goes again... the feeling of needing to rent here..
Been having this weird kinda feeling lately... Heart seem to have this weird pounds.. with butterfly in my stomach... worried... scared.. i dont even know what..
Well, just another weird feeling or instinct... Been busy lately with assignments and organization projects and stuff.... Gosh am happy being packed with stuff to the extend i got so dehydrated.. But then i will still find time to rest... hhahah
Hmm... Lately am slowly getting back to myself... Being the crazy kitty... Flirty and mad.... Well... The other funny thing is... Been in touch with few more of my EXes... Seems like EXes period now... Well... bad thing is they want me back but i dont feel for them... and i dont know how to tell them... Just go along pretending and avoiding....
Hmm... till now.. still have the urge to leave for a short holiday... Gosh am stuck with classes... Gosh Gosh....
Well... guess that my life is stuck till i am finally over with my studies... anyhow.... am okay with things now.. moving on very fine.... Although at times i still miss him but i know i dont love him anymore.... I guess that is something normal.. Memories of life that will be a part of me till the end...
My camp that i have been planning and working for with my committee is this weekend... Gosh.. I am so worried... Dont know why am no nervous... Afraid that i would leaving something behind and afraid that i wouldnt be as good as years before...
Pray for me people... Dont know why am i so worried... Never really been like this... hahahah.... Did i change?
Well... nothing much to say this time around... but just have the feeling of blogging... hahahhaha.. Talking to myself....
LiFe Is BeAuTiFuL!!!!

cOnFuSe?!?!?!

Lately it seems so weird and funny.. Many people whom i know claimed to be looking for the one.. yet they never seems to show it.. all i could see with my eyes are they wanting to be those wanna be player by two timing here and there...
When asked why, they say just to be on the safer side rather than they got fucked up at the end of the day... They said that it is thru time that they were committed to gals who played them and broke their heart..
Well, how long could all this last? At the end of the day it's either you end up alone or you are with someone be it your preffered choice or not.
People this generation never take all this seriously anymore. Love seems more like a game. Call me conservertive or hypocrite. But seing all this things just bother me alot.
The other funny thing is why do i only hear it from the guys... i wonder how do other women think about this..
Does it mean that you should be like the other players or those who gave themselves away just because that you have failed a few relationships that you thought were real and were gonna last?
A very close friend of mine broke up from his first relationship and totally gave up himself.. After several months of breakup, life still seems like nothing to him.. It hurts when i see a friend of mine like that and i am helpless..
I dont deny that love hurts and could break you down. Been there done that. But i dont understand why do they changed so extremely just after failures in love which is only one of the right of passage of life.. Probably i dont really understand..
But i always believe that there will always be sunshine after the rain. Mum told me since young, that everyone would go through a few wrong one before meeting the right one. And you have the power to choose you lover, take your time in knowing different people and then make your choice. But that doesnt entittle one to go breaking other people's heart.
Had so many arguements with guys who told me their stories. The arguement were so heated and everything just turned sour. Well, i know they didnt mean every women in the world that are bitches. But 90% it's like generalizing women. I personally have seen so many different women going thru things that the guys have been thru. What makes it different? Just because a man got played by another woman, it makes all the woman in the world bitches? It also goes vice versa.
Man or Woman, they might not see their life now. But i always believe that there is a small little voice in you that you want to have someone that you can hang on to, someone that you could rely, trust, love and so on.
For what i see, being a player or two timing and so on it just a way to cover your fear and your true self.
And for those who think they have lost their soul,it is not that you have lost your soul. You are just allowing yourself to sink in depression in the mist of the clouds. Not wanting to see the light. It is in a way denial and running from the matter.
What ever happens, we all know for a fact that life goes on. Why screw it and not channel the energy in making a better life.
LiVe LiFe tO tHe FuLlEsT!!!