pAsSiOn Vs LoVe???

Time after time i just wonder, why are my emotions so weak? Why do i let myself fall once after another? Are all these happening meant to make me stronger? Or is it trying to turn me into some one cold? Why the never ending tumbles and pain? At times i wonder, am i a lab rat for one to realized things in life? At times i wonder if i have to be the one hurting for others to be jolly? But it is never easy for either side and constantly hurts both side. Then why the hurt?
Sometimes, i just wonder how could i disregard my emotions, emotions that are so weak comparatively to my stubborn mind and character? Or maybe how could i find the balance between both? Such an irony within a soul.
Now caught in between passion and love, is there such happenings? Do one have to let go of love or passion to gain the other? Is it always a choice in ones life? What ever happen to balance?
Aren't passion and love in life comes hand in hand?
Isn't love suppose to elevate your passion and vice versa?
I realized that i have been more reserved lately, many things are mostly kept inside instead of the usual me of ranting it all out. Wondering why a sudden change within me, keeping all the pain and tears behind my doors. Am i starting to build a wall around me? Am i living my life an act now? Laughing and gaying while it still hurts inside?
What ever happens to the gurl who truly laugh and smile sincerely?
Dear God, can you give me an answer? or even save me from this depression and pain within?