Here i am again...

Here i am again.. Dont know where to turn to. Only to bitch out my feelings alone to keep my sanity.
Feeling so disappointed. Disappointed that actions defies words given. Makes me really wonder, are those words given to make the initial stages happen.. So what after that? As time goes by, reality happens as not what the words uttered. What am i going to do? Am i going to let it be and go on. Or should i depart?

Thoughts of departure pierce deep through. But somehow feeling that staying would only prolong these tears. Vows as spoken, is hard to break but never could i believe that it has already been broken. Broken astral vows that hurts me so deeply. Nothing left for me to say or do. i honoured my words, my actions shows. what else do i need to do?

As many said, maybe you should talk it through. Have i not? Every single time it is to no avail. Justifications and excuses piles up. Even to the least of honouring what we both are incline to is not happening. The room is more important. Maybe i am just a passerby. A passerby that has no value to be honoured at all.

Makes me wonder, wondered for so long. Are we here to complete all the tales from many lifetimes? Or are we here to end all the sufferings through all the lifetimes?
Why? Why are we back here for?

Why do i feel like this? Why are these both ends pulling me apart? Should i take either side or should i just allow to be pulled till i finally break apart? Either side would break me as well. Is there any other road that i can chose?
What should i do?