pOnDeRiNg!!

Sitting here in a special someone's room. Thinking and wondering. Had a very intensed conversation with him last night. Getting to know things more and understand things. Matter of fact many girls will be hurt after hearing the conversation but i wasn't.. In fact i was more worried. Worried that i would turn out to be the person who will hurt him in the end. But we just started. How could we know that things will be how he thought will be because of some factors taken into consideration. Parents, religion, history etc etc...
But then this new relationship was kinda weird. It seems like we both know what will challenge us in the near future, assuming that i will be doomed somehow.. Yet again we both jump into it. Thinking of all the 'what ifs' might end up in regrets if we dont do so. Maybe its because if we had it, we knew we once had it and there will not be regrets if it ends up the way predicted.
Feelings is there. Fun, caring and so on. Its all there. But there is also a fear of falling.. falling in love and out of love. Well, there is also fear and worries that might make us not enjoy everything without realizing. But he has been supportive and caring. To a certain extend he did his part in assuring us.
So far, he has always been there putting a smile on my face when i was stressed. Cheer me up and relaxes me when i was tensed. Many many little little things that he noticed, he does made me feel like maybe i dont deserve such a nice good boy. I felt like i am the bad one. I might be the one who spoils him, the one who might pull him way down.
Although he havent actually said he loves me, i know he do. From the way he treats me, think for me and so on. It has just been 5 days between us.
Well, i feel lucky to have this. Once in my life someone who is more real. Someone who do what he thinks a man should do. Not in those manner of players hitting on a girl but a more real thing to assure both of us and make us both stronger.
Well, maybe this is a blessing after so many pitfalls in life. Maybe this is something that can build me back. Maybe it is another secret of life that i havent realize. God work in many different ways that surprises people.
Although we have to bare with this things right at the beginning of our relationship and we still ended up in it, i think i should cherish it and enjoy it at every given moments.
At least i know i once had it all..
Boils down to the same thing..
LiVe LiFe To ThE fUlLeSt!!!!