me???

Seen this thing sometime ago but wasnt really keen in trying it out. This morning, dont know what struck me while i was checking out a friend's site, i decided to just play and see how it turns out.
Ladies and gentlemen! Here is the results...........

http://www.myheritage.com

Here is a second attempt... Just checking out if there are repititions... hahaha

http://www.myheritage.com

funny huh?? me looking like them??
Well, it is all for the fun!!!
adios!

wOrK?!?!?

1.30am. Couldnt sleep for unknown reasons. Mind is wondering about everything. Heart messing around for uncertain reasons.
Been waking up at certain time in the morning depsite late nights like today. Mornings seems such a routine now. Wake up, shift laptop to the table, check mails/work, make a few calls while looking through my organizer for the day's appointments and plans then shower and leave. After the morning routine everything else is impromtu. Total freedom!
Sounds much like a dream job to others that i get to work from home. Wake up much later, no morning traffic, lotsa freetime to hang around, late nights are permissible and total freedom. Well, there is always boons and banes in any case. Well, all the boons are stated as above but sometimes it is rather hard to find the motivation for the day to go on. I am rather certain that my motivation comes from people. I love working with people. I love to go through rainstorm and sunshine with people and achieve/complete the tasks together.

Well much of work focus is on the current project. To produce better recordings for my client, the Hop On Hop Off busses. Been scouting and scavenging for Voice Over talents for all the nine languages and also recording studio. In this case, everytime i hit a wall, my motivations drop. Yet again, a job is a job. And the bridge has been burnt by my dear client. So it is do or die. With the mindset of all or nothing, i continue to knock my head on one wall after another. Yet sometimes feeling unproductive. But i will definitely do my best!
The situation started when i was thrown into the deep end right from the begining due to my network. Dealing with this current project that i dont have a single idea what it is about. Audio recordings??? Studios?? Voice Over??? What my director told me was, the deep end is where you will learn. Many say there is where mistakes are permissible and much room for improvement.

Well, i would not deny that. I did much mistakes. Crying out loud for help after hitting one wall after another. Somehow, Thank God for sending me such sweet and nice clients and many helpful individuals. My dear clients have been very concerned about my stress level, how am i progressing and wheter i could cope. They have helped me much in climbing one wall after another. On the sideline, they have been inviting me for "drinks" with them on weekends which i have not allow myself to do so by stating that a clear line of work and social should be drawn. Yet one of them kept on asking me out on lunch or dinner which has not happen till today unless with the presence of my patners and their patners. But after much considering, there is no harm adding my clients into my social network which would inturn bring in more opportunities of business besides having another friend for a drink. Well, maybe would go for a drink or two with them someday.

Such a mundane entry. Well, for once it is about work although i have much ponderings still. Seems rather moodless to rant lately. Much of a silent ponderer lately.
The other new stitch is i have just submitted my resume/application to work abroad through AIESEC. Shall be confirming where i will be heading and when am i leaving in a month or two. Still feeling neutral despite the anxiety. Maybe then i will know more of me and the world. Maybe then my view would be challenged. Maybe then i would be a more complete person.
I wouldnt know. Still in midst.

fRiEnDsHiP vS oBlIgAtIoNs

Friendship in my very own dictionary has a very wide aspect. A few fact that i have come to known about friendship are;
1. Friends come and go, only true friend stays despite the distance and obstacles.
2. Some friends called you friends when you have a usage value.
3. Friends, True friends understands and respect each other.
4. There is no obligations in friendship, willingness and heartfulness is the key.
5. Friendship is something beautiful and to be cherished.
6. Friends support each other and elevate each other.
7. many many more... some maybe just my own willingness to do so...

People once asked me, who are your true friends. At one point of my life i didnt know. I realized that i met and know a lot of people, so do everyone else. With the tonnes of numbers saved in my mobile phone and tonnes of name cards kept, i could not find a person whom i was willing to call out in time of need.
A fact about me, i would keep as much friends as i could. I get emotionally attached and closed with new friends very fast. But yet in time of need i couldnt call anyone just shows how much of me i actually let out for people to know. Well, maybe it is my personal barrier.

Somehow, i know my tolerance within friendship is rather high in times of storm. I would keep my promise of being there as much as i can. Just dont take advantage of my softness and tolerance. I have no obligations. I have a right to stand on my own decisions.

*arghh* Don't know why a sudden hold back within me now thinking about friendship. A feel of a little suffocation at times. What is wrong with me? Will i ever have true friends that would accept me as who i am, listening to all my bitching and my dirtiest confessions and yet not judge me?

-looking upon the star wishing for joy and love for every single friend of mine out there. May you be close to me or just an aquaintance, i hope that you are blessed with much love and joy-

sElf MaDe CoNfUsIoNs.

Here goes the thoughts again. The over analyzing part of me. The making a mountain out of molehill part of me.

Well, i realized that my drama hook is actually men. To be more specific my drama hook lies in the game of attractions between genders. A lot said i am rather flirtacious. Well, even if i am, i don't realize it. It seems to be just me socializing. But i guess sometimes i maybe too open or maybe blur(speak before thinking). Somehow or rather, this has been told to me and for me to realize sometime ago and i seems to have accepted it as who i am. Constantly socializing and flirting. In a way, it is no harm but i have to know my boundaries. But the struggle within me is my boundaries seems to be way off the supposed boundaries which time after time made me question myself.

I do admit that i like to play games especially in the arena of flirting and I also do admit that i get infactuated very easily. I could like someone as easy as changing my clothes. Well, this part of it is not much of a problem, infactuations are just a little bitsy of fun. But the confusing part of me is i often get confused somehow or rather in the midst of the game.
I realized sometimes i decieved myself into having feelings for the person. Sometimes i wonder where is the game bringing me to. Funny, knowing and playing the game, clearly seing the line, why do i still get caught in this?

Someone once said to me, maybe i like being love. Maybe i like being like, being paid attention. But is this who i really am? Is this what i am gonna go on doing? Playing the game one after another? If it is so, when will i ever rest since i am feeling the tiredness?
Well, maybe i am looking too hard. Looking for the king of my heart. The comfort shoulder and the spices of my days.
Despite much bitter past, somehow i still believe. But i am sensing the start of the tiredness to still believe.
Maybe what i have always percieved is coming true. I may just end up alone. I may have a companion but maybe still much alone within.
Tiredness and much questioning has much affected my self-esteem and slowly turning me into a rat. *sighz*

pEr 'StOp' An IsLaNd!!!

a picture speaks a thousand words.
















All in all the trip was great! Peace and serenity by the beach. With fantastic company.
The only thing that bothers me is the destruction of the underwater world.
The beautiful island, breath taking underwater world that i have once seen and experienced are now all gone before my very eyes. *sighzz*

-anyhow let happy memories stay as positive. will start pouring more thoughts out when the itch comes again- ;P

p/s: dont mind the messyness of the pictures...

JuLy 3rd 2007

As the clock hits 12am July 3rd, marks the end of the bygones and a begining of a new chapter. Sweet wishes started pouring in as a few friends and i were amused and entertained by Transformers. A good start of a simple new chapter, filled with laughters and much amusement.
The very morning itself, i woke up with much excitement for the day's plan. My dear pals had made plans to go on an eating spree.
Began our journey at 1030am, when i started picking one by one till the last gurl before we switched to her car that is obviously more spacious than mine to fit all 6 of us. Journey began with a little disappoinment when we had trouble getting our return bus ticket for the Perhentian Island Trip and when the noodle stall that sells good 'pan min'(flour noodle) was closed.
Despite the hassle of rearranging our return transport, we carried on and headed to Chan Sow Lin for the famous fish head. Was a good meal, delicious off course. We had 2 different sauce of fish head, vegetable and tofu (beancurd) with rice.
Then we headed straight to Kajang looking for the famous Kajang satay. Getting the first stall wrong and not contented with the satays, we hopped on to another stall which was the famous satay stall known by all.
After the 2 different servings of satays, we then decided that we want something sweet instead and headed to Sri Petaling for desserts. Something light yet yummy.
By the time we were done with dessert, it was about time to head to Teluk Gong for our dinner. Seafood!
Well, i started sensing that the gurls(the guy is considered as our sisters :p) were up to something and they are planning to surprise me and arranging the timing and another guy to get the cake for tonight.
It was rather hilarious as they didnt know i already sense something fishy and they were whispering as i took over the wheels heading to Teluk Gong. And to add on to my suspicion, the guy that they asked to buy the cake kept on calling and the gurls kept on pretending that he wanted to join us in Teluk Gong but he was too late.
Well, after the scrumptious dinner we had to head back to one of the gurls house to get my car before heading to dessert again. Getting my car was an excuse for them to pick the other guy up with the cake but what was hillarious, 4 of the gurls went on the other car and only yenyung followed me.
Well, as he hopped into my car i asked him directly are they up to something and he knew he couldnt lie to me. Well, then we started thinking on playing tricks on the gurls with silly ideas like 'opps i gotta go back'. But in the end i decided to go on with the flow.
Then at the dessert shop, calls came in and i was chatting and puffing outside instead of sitted inside the restaurant with him. And comes another hillarious happening when i accidentally turned and saw the rest arriving. As i turned away and pretended of not noticing them, they were all already in shocked that i was standing outside. When i turned around again, they were all running the opposite direction. Couldnt help my laughters i quickly step in to wait for them.
Then came the rest along with the cake with candles and the birthday song. Upon blowing off the candles i burst into laughters and they knew it was busted. But what they didnt know was I sensed it much earlier and told them that i wanted to play tricks on them.
It was really sweet of them to plan on a surprise. Well gurls, thank you so much for the whole day trip and the surprise. It is definitely another day and moments for me to cherish. I am really glad to have you guys/gals. May our years of beutiful friendship continue growing despite the coming obstacles of time and space.

A day filled with tonnes of food and laughters. Stomach almost exploded. ;P

But some of the gurls said they still have space for more. *sweat*

6 sisters on the road!
Regina, Valerie, Yvonne & Yenyung

Audrey & Kitti

Afternoon dessert.

Showing off the sign board as a proof that we were at Teluk Gong.

The surprise birthday cake!

Finally with the 7th sisters.

Kitti, Audrey, Regina, Kelvin(7th sisters), YenYung, Valerie, Yvonne

Thank you gurls! Love ya loads!

The very next day, we headed to Perhentian Island for the weekend. Had lotsa fun and as usual nonstop laughters and sillyness.

*ps: dont mind my messyness of thoughts, powderful ingland and probably typo. Having insomia with 3 more hours to sleep before waking up for meeting. And body has been rejecting food for few days. God knows why*

fLaShBaCk!

Been some time since i last sat down and blog. For the past 2 months, it is weird that i dont feel like blogging despite so many new happenings. The itch and urge to blog did not hit me at all. Just sometimes a little thought of obligation to update my blog or maybe write something which i couldnt put in words. And i did not visit any of my pals blog as well despite wanting to know how are they doing and what is new with them. Wondering what is up with me? Well, maybe i am tired of ranting, maybe i am in the process of rebirthing. Maybe i needed a little time for myself thoughts, maybe i am just avoiding something.

Lets flashback and look into the month of May and June. Done with my exams for my final year. Got my results and i am OK with it although the funny thing is it is written in the results slip that they send to my house that i 'lulus dengan kepujian' which i dont understand what that means. I thought now they dont have the class segregation anymore. Rather confusing. Well, why bother. All i know is i am graduating and i am waiting for my convocation in the first week of September.

Not long after my final papers, i joined a new company called Atmic World (M) Sdn Bhd. Their product is funnily known as STARFISH is a GPRS/GSM integrated advanced vehicle tracking systems. Initially i was only in for training and to fill in my time doing something more fruitful while waiting for convocation then go off for my traineeship in a foreign country. The training puts me in a situation without any salary but only commission if i sell their product. So basically it sounds like sales. Well, the funny part is i go out for appointments with my CEO and Managing Director and they usually pick me up instead of me driving. How fun is that? But as i go on, seems like i am given a tittle of project executive and one of my first actual task was to organize the launch of our product. The launch was a little messy i have to say but i managed to get hold of the Star reporters and they did me a great favor by publishing my news 2 days after my launch. Salute to Michelle and MJ!

Well, all in all everything sounds OK but at one point there is a misunderstanding between my CEO and I. But after the occasion of our launch and product noted in the newspaper, he finally sat down, explain and clarify. Well, and he indicated of retaining me. Weird thing is, i am not even employed. I seems to have just joined a group of men in their process of setting up and running their business. From his explanation is i should not be addressing them as my bosses but team mates or mentor. In a certain way he said that once the company is stable he will support me in many ways. In another aspect sounds like he is offering me a patnership. Well, all in all he knows that i want to leave after my convocation for traineeship abroad. Sometimes i wonder if he is just saying to retain me or he is really serious about it. But i know what ever it is now, i have put my words and i will deliver it by doing my best till the day which i really have to leave. Even if i do leave at somepoint, he knows that i am interested in taking this product to a higher extend to the international market starting from where i am heading next. All in all, sounds like a good business opportunity for me. ;)
People, do visit www.my-starfish.com to know more of what i am dealing with.

Let me see what else happened. Throughout this 2 months it seems like it is reunion time. Been bumping into my old friends which i have not seen for ages. People from primary school to the guys and gurls from a different school in secondary and some from my form 6 in KTAR. Then been clubbing almost every weekend. And i tried something new which i did not thought i would have the courage to try it. Well, that caused me hell for few days.

The other good news is i met a lovely lady named Tricia and we clicked easily since we first met. We hung out quite often, actually i would say rather often. Been cooking together, drink and had lotsa fun. We even elevated our status to be sisters and we intended to go through the ceremony of being actual sisters. But i guess, the chinese beliefs has too much in it which i do not understand. Well no matter what, i gave my words of she is my sister and i will stand by her through sunshine or rain, i will take responsible of it. And this sweet sister of mine shares the same star as i do and celebrates her birthday together with me. She is so lovely to throw a house birthday party with a few nice people at her place for me and also herself. It is really sweet or her to throw the party with me and to give me a priceless gift which i will definitely cherish.
All in all, i already had my first face of my birthday celebrations with my dear sister, Tricia and the group is going for an eating trip coming tuesday. If i am not sensing wrong they maybe up to something. But will see if they play the game better than i do. It is too sweet of them to do so but i just wanna mess around with them... ;) and then we are heading to perhentian for another phase of celebrations and embracing our freedom and holidays and not forgeting our togetherness..

Cheers to all the fantastic and lovely people and thank you God for all the great happenings.
Will fill up more on what happen for my birthday. ;)