wOrK?!?!?

1.30am. Couldnt sleep for unknown reasons. Mind is wondering about everything. Heart messing around for uncertain reasons.
Been waking up at certain time in the morning depsite late nights like today. Mornings seems such a routine now. Wake up, shift laptop to the table, check mails/work, make a few calls while looking through my organizer for the day's appointments and plans then shower and leave. After the morning routine everything else is impromtu. Total freedom!
Sounds much like a dream job to others that i get to work from home. Wake up much later, no morning traffic, lotsa freetime to hang around, late nights are permissible and total freedom. Well, there is always boons and banes in any case. Well, all the boons are stated as above but sometimes it is rather hard to find the motivation for the day to go on. I am rather certain that my motivation comes from people. I love working with people. I love to go through rainstorm and sunshine with people and achieve/complete the tasks together.

Well much of work focus is on the current project. To produce better recordings for my client, the Hop On Hop Off busses. Been scouting and scavenging for Voice Over talents for all the nine languages and also recording studio. In this case, everytime i hit a wall, my motivations drop. Yet again, a job is a job. And the bridge has been burnt by my dear client. So it is do or die. With the mindset of all or nothing, i continue to knock my head on one wall after another. Yet sometimes feeling unproductive. But i will definitely do my best!
The situation started when i was thrown into the deep end right from the begining due to my network. Dealing with this current project that i dont have a single idea what it is about. Audio recordings??? Studios?? Voice Over??? What my director told me was, the deep end is where you will learn. Many say there is where mistakes are permissible and much room for improvement.

Well, i would not deny that. I did much mistakes. Crying out loud for help after hitting one wall after another. Somehow, Thank God for sending me such sweet and nice clients and many helpful individuals. My dear clients have been very concerned about my stress level, how am i progressing and wheter i could cope. They have helped me much in climbing one wall after another. On the sideline, they have been inviting me for "drinks" with them on weekends which i have not allow myself to do so by stating that a clear line of work and social should be drawn. Yet one of them kept on asking me out on lunch or dinner which has not happen till today unless with the presence of my patners and their patners. But after much considering, there is no harm adding my clients into my social network which would inturn bring in more opportunities of business besides having another friend for a drink. Well, maybe would go for a drink or two with them someday.

Such a mundane entry. Well, for once it is about work although i have much ponderings still. Seems rather moodless to rant lately. Much of a silent ponderer lately.
The other new stitch is i have just submitted my resume/application to work abroad through AIESEC. Shall be confirming where i will be heading and when am i leaving in a month or two. Still feeling neutral despite the anxiety. Maybe then i will know more of me and the world. Maybe then my view would be challenged. Maybe then i would be a more complete person.
I wouldnt know. Still in midst.